Pocky
by Roxius
Summary: Another BR crack fic! Niida is confused about his feelings for Chigusa, Chigusa is confused about her feelings for Niida, and Sugimura has a pocky fetish. Also, Yoshio Akamatsu wears a fancy suit. This fic's got it all! ChigusaXNiida crack. Please R & R!


Hiroki Sugimura was busy eating a box of pocky when two speeding figures flew by, knocking his dearly loved stick-like snack foods to the ground. His eyes wide with terror, Sugimura collapsed to his knees before crying out:

"NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Meanwhile, the two speed demons responsible for the demise of Sugimura's pocky was none other than Takako Chigusa and Kazushi Niida. Once again, Niida was trying his best (and failing poorly) to win over Chigusa's heart, but, once again, Chigusa was being as stubborn as usual. In fact, she didn't even care about ruining Sugimura's pocky, despite his obvious fetish for them. All she wanted to do was outrun Niida as soon as possible.

"C'mon, Chigusa! At least give me a kiss on the cheek!" Niida begged, his legs finally starting to wear out. Although he was a member of the Soccer team and pretty fast himself, Niida was nowhere near as quick as Chigusa, who was the top-ranking member of the Track team. "I'm not giving you ANYTHING, you faggot!" Chigusa called back as she sped down the hall, leaving poor Niida behind in her dust.

"Aw, fuck..." Sighing, Niida planted his butt down in the middle of the hall and just sat there for a while, catching his breath. 'There's gotta be some way to make her fall for me!' Niida thought as people began piling into the halls, 'Maybe I can buy her something...my dad always told me girls are easily won over by money, clothes and expensive shit! It's perfect!'

Although it was only the middle of the day, Niida skipped the rest of school and spent the rest of his time looking around various malls, trying to find something special to buy Chigusa. However, at the end of the day, Niida came up with...nothing. All he really knew about Chigusa was three things: She liked Track, she liked Sugimura, she had big boobs and she's a crazy bitch. Wait...wasn't that four things? Plus, two of them weren't even things that she liked or anything! Gah, whatever! It doesn't really matter anyway!

Niida really wasn't sure what to do. Hell, he was even beginning to question whether he actually DID like Chigusa. She had a great figure, sure, but did Niida only want her for her body...or because he actually LOVED her? Niida almost broke out laughing at himself for questioning such an obvious thing. "I LIKE HER FOR HER BODY, OF COURSE! ...Or do I?" Niida was really, really, really confused. So confused that it made his brain hurt. AND HE DID NOT LIKE IT WHEN HIS BRAIN HURT!

"Fuck this! I'm going home..." Making sure to kick over an old lady on his way home, Niida crawled into bed and quickly fell asleep so he could have more dirty dreams about Mitsuko and Chigusa having a threesome with him. However, this dream was going to be different...very different...

* * *

Niida blinked a few times to make sure he wasn't actually dreaming THIS: he was standing in what looked like an empty plain covered in shiny white snow. "Where the fuck is Mitsuko and Chigusa for my threesome? Dammit!" Niida shouted into the cloudy heavens, but no one answered. Suddenly, a figure popped out of the snow. It was Yoshio Akamatsu, but he was dressing in a dress shirt that only he could make sexy-looking.

Niida tried hard not to laugh (Okay, not THAT hard), but he burst out into full-blown laughter as he exclaimed, "OMIGOD, IS THAT YOU, AKAMATSU? YOU LOOK LIKE A FRIGGIN' FRUITCAKE FAGGOT! BWA HA HA HA HA HA-" Niida would have continued laughing longer if this fluffy dream Akamatsu hadn't shot him in the forehead with a revolver.

Oddly enough, it didn't hurt. "WTF, YOU FATASS-" Niida once again got cut off, but this time because, instead of Akamatsu, Chigusa was standing before him wearing an elegent wedding dress. She smiled gently at him and said, "Niida...please...marry me..."

That was when Niida finally came to his ultimate conclusion:

"HOLY FUCK, I THINK I ACTUALLY LOVE HER FOR MORE THAN HER STUPID TITS! I MEAN, THEY'RE GREAT AND ALL, BUT, JEEZUS! NOW I MIGHT HAVE TO COMMIT SUICIDE FOR MY LOVE!"

* * *

Niida quickly snapped his eyes open and sat up in bed. His entire body was covered in sweat and his mind was still reeling with memories of that odd, exotic dream he just had. After a few minutes, though, Niida completely forgot about it and went back to sleep. 'Maybe I can take pills for it or something...'

Little did he know, Chigusa was busy dreaming about Niida is the same fashion...while Sugimura sat outside her window, crying about pocky...


End file.
